Tampilkan postingan dengan label life. Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label life. Tampilkan semua postingan

dalam cengkraman hening

>> 7/05/2011

Secangkir susu putih  dan sesisir roti tawar menemaniku pagi ini.
Entah kenapa semalam aku tak bisa memejamkan mata
dgn beragam pikiran yang menghantui, nyata dan tidak nyata.
Aku nyaris tak bisa membedakan antara kesadaran dan bukan kesadaran.
Aku tak tau ada dimana, semalam aku terbang....

Entah apa yang terjadi ... badankupun bereaksi... asam lambungku naik dan aku takut.
Tak tahu bahasa apa yang tengah disampaikan malam tadi, alam apa yang ingin kau ucapkan?
Aku tak peka.... tapi aku merasa ada sesuatu yg harus di perbaiki,
andai aku bisa mengerti, maka tak akan kupusingkan teka-teki ini.
Ku lewati malam dengan tatapan kosong, memutari langit-langit kamar, tenggelam dalam kesunyian
dalam tamaram lampu neon yang menciptakan bayangannya diri.

Pagi telah mengantarku kemeja kantor.
Semoga bergantinya hari dapat membuatku berfikirjernih.
Alamku terpecah, dan akupun tertegun.... ada apa denganku? dalam hening aku mencari jawab.
Benar dan salah bedanya tipis, dan tak ada keputusan yang benar-benar BENAR.
Well apapun itu aku bersyukur karena Engkau di hatiku. Tuhan.



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Hidup Dalam Alur

>> 5/10/2011

kpd air mata ...  pembersih hati dari debu,



kala film kuputar balik, tampak rentetan cerita dalam hidup
iya, saya tahu, hidup belum berakhir ...
dalam ragam deretan kisah berkalbu dalam diri
diri... yang dulu pernah suci, tanpa kata, tanpa makna

kini... banyak luka penghias jiwa
kerlipan manis dari dongeng kehidupan
berputar seperti roda... tak pernah berhenti
membuat hati jatuh dan bangun, hanya demi meresapi
arti sebuah makna, yg harus dicari sendiri

Terdampar dengan banyak kemelekatan, dari orang, materi, masa lalu,
impian semu, tuntutan, kekangan, dan penilaian rata2 dari yg mereka sebut masyarakat.
dan akibat dari rasa memiliki adalah luka.

Aku bukanlah makluk suci, yang menjadi naif berbicara tentang cinta
aku bukanlah makluk manis, yang tak punya luka di hati
aku adalah sama, manusia dengan sejuta gejolak

semua rela kulepas demi suatu pencarian dgn semua jawab didalam diri
aku rindu diriku di tengah gemerlap dunia, dan sorak sorai dalam pesta
aku rindu hatiku di tengah lubang yang terhias di dalamnya
dan untuk semua kebohongan atas nama perlindungan diri
maka kini aku berserah ... dalam diri untuk menjadi utuh
tak goyah saat tertiup angin dan tak ambruk saat di tempa beban
karena sesungguhnya kita bukan apa-apa tanpa hati untuk peduli, dan berbagi.

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Just statement

>> 3/05/2011















if you give me a rope, I will jump with my feets
if you give me a fence, I will climb with my hands
if you give me a wall, I will destroy with my mind
if you give me a blow, I will hit with my emotions
I am a women, not need a cage to stay
but 
if you give me a smile, i give u hug to make u happy
if you give me your respect, I will there to adore you 
if you give me your pure heart to love, I will there to be with u
if you give me your loyalty, I will give you my devotion
I am a women, need peace place to put my heart 
and
if you want to be happy, u must know how to make happy
if you want to be love, u must know how to love
if you want to be eternal, u must know how to be eternal 
cause we never get if we dont know how to get all
life is to learn, and experience make us rich

Do not live in a pleasant lie, but live in honesty, even if it hurts

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always like this song

>> 2/27/2011

My Life -sherina

It's a drop of morning dew, why have you gone out of view, wouldn't you be here to face a new day smiling at you, will the sun be bright and shine or the clouds will overshadow, your day tomorrow with feeling of sadness and sorrow. I'll set a sail to a sea of dreams and fantasies whirl with the wind, It's mistery of the almighty. It's in my life, my heart, me soul, My sense of love, there I will try to find a peace of mind and in my life, my heart, my soul, My sense of love, the living pearls of life for me to find, in my mind, so my heart won't go blind in my life. Drops of fresh morning dew, I'll be waiting here for you, only God knows how tomorrow, will be like 4 u and  4 my life

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What u will choose?

>> 2/25/2011

“if u have to choose between religion and compassion,
what u will choose? “
I will choose compassion...



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Dear God

>> 1/11/2011














Dear God'
too many stories
too many blend colors out
too many spots
and I take my freedom
playing and flying high without restrictions
it all does not make me be bored to enjoy it
although I get a lot of scratch wounds in self
sometimes hit my head and make me crazy
and repeated into the darkness to re-find the star
sometimes sore, happy, sad, and glad ... 


I dont want to regret all the tread steps behind
no matter good or bad, it's common or not
and then disappear in the wind
all these have formed me be a human
who have heart to feel, who have tear to cry
sometimes quiet sometimes crowded,
all over like a show flow of life,
who had never met before
the farther I get out, the more I can find ....
fill the void that was never able to explain with words
silence in the comfort, without ever knowing about all happened 


now I stand without my identity, without my background
and I stood in a vacuum, in a pile of human bodies
without any clothes to cover my self
night God .... thanks for this day


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Diary 4 Today

>> 12/23/2010


Well, after i get my vacation, i must go work now.... i hope still at the beach hehehe........ tired day..... At 05.00 pm i take a shower at my office..... i felt sleepy, thx mbak Mega n Hilda.... hehehe I feel fresh now..., not much works today, all prepare to get their holiday until new year come. Me......? i dont know .... i dont have idea to celebrate my x'mas. When christmas come, i always remember my dad.... we usualy go to church together, and he always give me money to get my gift, its always make me smile..... yes i really miss him.... and his smile. Life must go on (i know......), n thanks cause Santa was given me a special gift before christmas come..... He give me brave heart to life, i not scared again, not worry, and i can release everything to get my life, yes.... everything.... Live is only once, and i have freedom to achieve all my dreams n get what i want in my life. Im verry glad cause i have a special mom in this world, but this does not mean that we never fight, we sometimes fight cause we have different opinions, but its a natural thing, cause none in this world there is the same person... and thank God cause finally we can understand and respect each other. Love u mom....., I know you always worry about me, but trust me... I tried to get the best of my life, You has made me to be a good personal person in this world, I am still your nice daughter with all in my life and no one can change it. Thank mom. I still try to kept Life, why....? cause i have reason for my life..... that is is to love each other, n love someone special in my heart..... have a small happiness fam, and life to give n to get... its just a simple natural dreams in my life.... but its not easy to achive its. why....? hmmmm...... may be cause many people forget to share, be selfish n greedy man, they wants to have everything in this world, n sometimes forget to love n give each other..... (may be...... idk.....). Now... its time to get home.... hmmm..... hope always fine n feel good..... get all dreams and..... always smile. Have a nice week end friends...... always joy full your days..... love for all, especially my fam.

Me  ^_^ 


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Human

>> 9/14/2010


Sometimes I confused with humans, too much hustle and bustle, that sometimes makes my self be ith to step. Turn a step they said wrong, took a step they said wrong, took around step back they said wrong .... sometimes I think my time could be discharged just only to hear input and scolded from everyone.

I want to remove all limits in live and never cared what people said. if others like me that's good, and if doesn't .. well that their affairs. The important thing is when I became comfort with myself and my path is non-destructive way.

Human beings exist-there is just the problems .....
even in making the simple thing to be complicated

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Mind Contraction

>> 8/16/2010



Hours spirited sounding beats any second into sunset, all day it felt dark mist stuck in bodies, do not know what it's called but this is really make suffocating sense of the soul.

Days have been passing by and leaving a shadow on any second without any sense. drama of life quickly to come ... go .... and change, laughter and sadness active intercourse as though nothing is eternal, other than this soul with all the understanding which is contained in.

Want to yell and curse .... it could be a sign of protest at a time when sadness come to singing, but the other eyes was guided me to be free. I wanted to toss this soul fly, smile and free, without any dogma which seems too sacred boundaries to be broken.

lies, deceit, love, betrayal, seduction, kisses and conflicts seem in the eyes, hug, and sense ..... conflict, peace and bustle lined up neatly showcased its existence, although maybe it's just human creations

I do not want to swear and curse ...... this chain one by one break from my body, and  I stretched, pleading, choke and cry ..... laughing, and joking ...... and an awareness always remind me .... to keep me keep a wake ....... to stay alive in this moment.

Understanding sweet rebuke ... in bodies. In war between consciousness and subconscious .... without the dimension of space and time, without status and ties, always collaborate, then back to this self .... no one else only myself ....... then ... ... with others and you

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only if

>> 4/20/2010


If there is someone who risked his life for a command, where is the location of generosity? 
Rationalism, kastaisme and distinction is a form of stinginess, such as lymph fluid of healing wounds, but the real poison.
sometimes condescension just to avoid the humiliation, and pride is a form of defense from the beggar
If I had grown to be dissidents, it's because I'm looking for the top limit of my obedience
Making black and white as main color which concluded another color, and only revealed his secret to the elected person 

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my Morning Diary


"excuse me... your life is waiting !
excuse me... your life is waiting !
excuse me... your life is waiting !"

 

I open my eyes... slowly..., uniting the soul and the body
I had read that life will never STOP unless DEATH
there are only going forward or stepping in place
so whatever its just "KEEP GOING !!"
oahmm...... get up and take a shower .... :)
my kiss to the world and all xxx

muaaaahhhh....... never end.....

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Take a Break

>> 4/18/2010

Thank God for everything you've given to me. 
cool air that I breathe, beautiful plants, and the nature, 
thats always make me smile and peace. 
problems just the fruits of life, and I would't worry about it, 
because I'll always find the answers here.... 
in nature along with Your touch.... 
Thanks God :)

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Iam ready

>> 4/16/2010

I was so upset.......,
I'm not going to deal with it anymore!!

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Just my self

>> 4/05/2010

I moved away
I will find by my self
in ignorance conditions
which always beautyfull
like a babies 
do not think ...
not yet filled with consciousness
haven't sense of self ..


walked in silence
without a self-awareness 
pulled over to enjoy the nature
the wind caressing my body
the smell of wet from the rain
the sound of leaves close to my heart
the sun began to fall with slowly
cloud created their paintings 
in silence, I hear the song of nature


sit alone, eliminating my self
immersed in this life
friendly touch ...
always feel comfort here.....
a place which always have a bigest peace
soluble in mysterious silence
flow ....
peace ... 
do not remember ... 
unknown ...
and here I am

this is where I separate what is relevan from what is not relevant
when trapped in a word, meaning, and mind, not seen how it all works
all struggles to defend my self just a waste of energy
none of which are irrelevant in this life
God is everywhere

 

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Song of nature

>> 4/04/2010

This afternoon is cloudy
I smell the fragrance of nature
absorbed into my mind, give me comfort 
drizzle began to heard, in the middle the sound of water in the pond.
my koi's friendly jump with enjoying the foods 
wind touching friendly, my heart felt comfort
I can hear voices of dancing leaves 
I feel touch with nature
comfort.....

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Forgive me

>> 4/02/2010

 forgive me
I flying across the borders 
fun in my repair brain shop
invites you to climb roller-coaster in life 
and make you headaches and tired


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Night Prayer

>> 3/30/2010

This lonely road ---> you are not alone
I am walking on ---> when you leave your home
Where did it begin?  ---> and you’re far away
Where will it end? ---> on a dusty way
And when the dark night comes ---> I will always care
Who will save my soul? ---> and I will be there
On my lonely road ---> every time You call
will I walk alone? ---> My name…


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Berusaha Fokus

>> 2/23/2010


Hari ini aku tengah berusaha fokus atas keinginanku,  Semoga apapun jalan hidup yang aku ambil dapat menjadi ketetapan hati yang mantap.
Karena tidak ada niat buruk dalam pendalaman keputusan. Banyak pihak bersitegang akan rencana ini, tapi baik untuk pihak pro ataupun kontra semoga hasilna baik2 saja. Hidup cuma sekali, yang kucari hanya kedamaian di hati.  


Hidup adalah asasi, dan aku akan memilih tanpa merendahkan atau mengurangi rasa hormat, simpatik, dan sayangku terhadap sanak saudara dan keluarga. Ijinkan aku memilih jalan hidup yang akan kujalani, dan ingin kuakhiri baku tegang ini dengan akhir yang indah. ^_^

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Biar aku menjadi aku

>> 1/20/2010



Otakku berasa liar, bukannya ngak hargai idup, tapi belakangan terasa sedikit berat bagi hati dan nurani, mungkin ada pula orang yang terbebani demi yang disebut kehendak.


Sadar bahwa aku tidak akan merelakan hasrat ini kembali menjadi ngengat, (walaupun mungkin akan banyak tantangan yang dihadapi), tapi tetap dijalaninya untuk sebuah tujuan yang kuanggap suci dan baik bagi hidupku, walaupun mungkin tidak bagi yang lain ataupun segelintir dari mereka.

Bukankah tujuan setiap manusia adalah hidup tentram, dalam kedamaian?? Haruskah aku berkoar bahwa ada yang lebih penting dari ras, suku, agama, harta, materi, dan status lainnya? apakah hanya krn kerjaan mapan, serta masa depan gemilang dengan patokan materi yang lengkap...., tanpa dilengkapi dengan nurani yang baik dan tulus  lebih tinggi nilainya?

Tapi aku tidak mengejar itu semua....
aku hanya mengini ketentraman hati dan kehidupan apa adanya. Aku merindukan kebaikan bukan kebohongan, terlebih mengenai hati. Maka biarkan aku lepas mencari apa yang ku sebut ketentraman ...
 

Hidup itu susah, keragaman butuh toleran yang tinggi. Aku berterimakasih di hadirkan dengan ketulusan hati, sehingga saat aku melihat semua itu tampak baik adanya. Kadang aku ingin menodai hati ini dengan sedikit berfikir picik, tapi aku tidak pernah sanggup untuk menilai buruk tiap puzzle yang terbentuk di dunia ini, bahkan aku pun tidak pernah berkeberatan untuk berubah menjadi salah satu puzzle yang telah ada. Aku percaya semua yang ada adalah izin Sang Kuasa dan semua itu indah. Biarkan aku terbentuk dengan sendirinya sesuai alam dan keadaan. 

Aku memiliki Tuhan yang sama dengan diri mu ataupun dirinya ataupun mereka, Ia menjagaku dan menyayangiku baik aku sebagai puzzle A atau puzzle B, C dan lainnya. Ia tetap sama sejak aku dalam rahim sampai raga ini meninggalkanku nantinya. Sebagai apapun aku, aku merasa nyaman krn Ia selalu di hatiku dan aku di hati-Nya. Jadi jangan paksa aku untuk menjadi gambaran sesuai dengan keinginan kalian.

Benar dan salah tak ternilai jika tidak dipahami, manusia adalah ciptaan terhebat yang mampu mencerna dan mempelajari kehidupan dengan penerang hatinya sendiri dengan ijin Dewata. Permenungan panjang ini masih kujalani... dengan kepasrahan jiwa dan raga.

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