Diary 4 Today

Well, after i get my vacation, i must go work now.... i hope still at the beach hehehe........ tired day..... At 05.00 pm i take a shower at my office..... i felt sleepy, thx mbak Mega n Hilda.... hehehe I feel fresh now..., not much works today, all prepare to get their holiday until new year come. Me......? i dont know .... i dont have idea to celebrate my x'mas. When christmas come, i always remember my dad.... we usualy go to church together, and he always give me money to get my gift, its always make me smile..... yes i really miss him.... and his smile. Life must go on (i know......), n thanks cause Santa was given me a special gift before christmas come..... He give me brave heart to life, i not scared again, not worry, and i can release everything to get my life, yes.... everything.... Live is only once, and i have freedom to achieve all my dreams n get what i want in my life. Im verry glad cause i have a special mom in this world, but this does not mean that we never fight, we sometimes fight cause we have different opinions, but its a natural thing, cause none in this world there is the same person... and thank God cause finally we can understand and respect each other. Love u mom....., I know you always worry about me, but trust me... I tried to get the best of my life, You has made me to be a good personal person in this world, I am still your nice daughter with all in my life and no one can change it. Thank mom. I still try to kept Life, why....? cause i have reason for my life..... that is is to love each other, n love someone special in my heart..... have a small happiness fam, and life to give n to get... its just a simple natural dreams in my life.... but its not easy to achive its. why....? hmmmm...... may be cause many people forget to share, be selfish n greedy man, they wants to have everything in this world, n sometimes forget to love n give each other..... (may be...... idk.....). Now... its time to get home.... hmmm..... hope always fine n feel good..... get all dreams and..... always smile. Have a nice week end friends...... always joy full your days..... love for all, especially my fam.

Me  ^_^ 

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Bouncing Mellow

bouncing mellow in my fantasy
believe its  time will be come
when heart should be always singing
la la la la la.... la la

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Human

Sometimes I confused with humans, too much hustle and bustle, that sometimes makes my self be ith to step. Turn a step they said wrong, took a step they said wrong, took around step back they said wrong .... sometimes I think my time could be discharged just only to hear input and scolded from everyone.

I want to remove all limits in live and never cared what people said. if others like me that's good, and if doesn't .. well that their affairs. The important thing is when I became comfort with myself and my path is non-destructive way.

Human beings exist-there is just the problems .....

even in making the simple thing to be complicated

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at Coffee Cafe

"pulled up at this place :)
not too crowded, with the strains of soft instrument music. 

soluble in a capucino n time..... with a book in my hand .....
start to burn my head."

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Mind Contraction

Hours spirited sounding beats any second into sunset, all day it felt dark mist stuck in bodies, do not know what it's called but this is really make suffocating sense of the soul.

Days have been passing by and leaving a shadow on any second without any sense. drama of life quickly to come ... go .... and change, laughter and sadness active intercourse as though nothing is eternal, other than this soul with all the understanding which is contained in.

Want to yell and curse .... it could be a sign of protest at a time when sadness come to singing, but the other eyes was guided me to be free. I wanted to toss this soul fly, smile and free, without any dogma which seems too sacred boundaries to be broken.

lies, deceit, love, betrayal, seduction, kisses and conflicts seem in the eyes, hug, and sense ..... conflict, peace and bustle lined up neatly showcased its existence, although maybe it's just human creations

I do not want to swear and curse ...... this chain one by one break from my body, and  I stretched, pleading, choke and cry ..... laughing, and joking ...... and an awareness always remind me .... to keep me keep a wake ....... to stay alive in this moment.

Understanding sweet rebuke ... in bodies. In war between consciousness and subconscious .... without the dimension of space and time, without status and ties, always collaborate, then back to this self .... no one else only myself ....... then ... ... with others and you

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About Idea

Idea is essentially destructive, and changed everything
the more original, the more radical changes will happened
more changes, more peoples threatened
many of idea make people feel scared with jobs and the future
struggling with the fear that exists, because there is no other reason
in addition to making other people feel scared

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It Feel like ...

It FELLS like:
Lying on the super soft mattress, with blanket of hyper soft and fresh fragrant, in a room that has a large glass window. Looking at the green park area with the beautiful plants. wet grass and drizzling wafted. Enjoy the soft scent of lavender aromatherapy and accompanied by a soft instruments, hmmm.... feel peace floated in the every twang. With my lover, enjoy the peacefulness of life, and embodies the dreams, then sleeping ...

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only if

If there is someone who risked his life for a command, where is the location of generosity? 

Rationalism, kastaisme and distinction is a form of stinginess, such as lymph fluid of healing wounds, but the real poison.
sometimes condescension just to avoid the humiliation, and pride is a form of defense from the beggar
If I had grown to be dissidents, it's because I'm looking for the top limit of my obedience
Making black and white as main color which concluded another color, and only revealed his secret to the elected person 

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my Morning Diary

"excuse me... your life is waiting !
excuse me... your life is waiting !
excuse me... your life is waiting !"

 

I open my eyes... slowly..., uniting the soul and the body
I had read that life will never STOP unless DEATH
there are only going forward or stepping in place
so whatever its just "KEEP GOING !!"
oahmm...... get up and take a shower .... :)
my kiss to the world and all xxx

muaaaahhhh....... never end.....

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Take a Break

Thank God for everything you've given to me. 
cool air that I breathe, beautiful plants, and the nature, 
thats always make me smile and peace. 
problems just the fruits of life, and I would't worry about it, 
because I'll always find the answers here.... 
in nature along with Your touch.... 
Thanks God :)

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Waktu di pantai bersama kawan

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Iam ready

I was so upset.......,

I'm not going to deal with it anymore!!

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I Will Burst.... i think :(

Feels full, hard, cramped. breath began to choked, like a balloon that will burst, but not yet, very congested, veins in the brain as if clogged. silent ... ... and tense ... ... ... I was not strong even if only to stand up straight, just look in the empty eyes. "Give me the energy of love, God,  so I could love and share again" I want run very fast on empty streets, until I lifted and fly in the universal emptiness that will be created. Drift with the wind. I want scream and cry as much on the stretch of silent beach. Leaving my voice shout collide with the wind and waves, with tears melt in the sea.

My soul whispers to my self: "let's finish up... one by one ... This step will be light, dont forget to smile, everything will be ok." God, plz hug me tonight..... Z....z...z...z.zzzz...

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miss u

I see the large of darkness skies 

are bombarded with a million stars,
fun with flickering light. beautiful ... 

make me frozen in the night 

looking upstar 

then stunned ....

I miss u dad, all the time with u
fished on the beach together
swim in the pool ...
go around the town ...
your tickled on the bed every morning
hmm... 5 years already passed

then fell asleep ...
'til the morning comes
good morning ... :)

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Just my self

I moved away

I will find by my self

in ignorance conditions

which always beautyfull

like a babies 
do not think ...

not yet filled with consciousness
haven't sense of self ..

walked in silence

without a self-awareness 

pulled over to enjoy the nature

the wind caressing my body

the smell of wet from the rain

the sound of leaves close to my heart

the sun began to fall with slowly

cloud created their paintings 
in silence, I hear the song of nature

sit alone, eliminating my self
immersed in this life

friendly touch ...

always feel comfort here.....

a place which always have a bigest peace

soluble in mysterious silence
flow ....

peace ... 

do not remember ... 

unknown ...

and here I am

this is where I separate what is relevan from what is not relevant

when trapped in a word, meaning, and mind, not seen how it all works

all struggles to defend my self just a waste of energy

none of which are irrelevant in this life

God is everywhere

 

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Song of nature

This afternoon is cloudy

I smell the fragrance of nature

absorbed into my mind, give me comfort 
drizzle began to heard, in the middle the sound of water in the pond.
my koi's friendly jump with enjoying the foods 

wind touching friendly, my heart felt comfort. 
I can hear voices of dancing leaves 
I feel touch with nature
comfort.....

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Forgive me

 forgive me

I flying across the borders 

fun in my repair brain shop

invites you to climb roller-coaster in life 

and make you headaches and tired

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FInaLLy

I know the answer

makasih yah nurani ...

everything will be ok

n life must be go on

i don't want to push again

hope your happiness

bless, and perpetual

so... bye... bye..... 
my lovely friend

I will go ... 

I willl jump to catch the star with my heart n my soul with my love n my peace i belive i can... one day may be we can say "hi" again

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I don't want to be a loser

If I can run, I want to run away from all this mess 

but I can not run, I don't want to be a loser

In this mess I was looking for a silence 

and in a silence I feel a lot of chaos 

God, allow me to rest ...

everything is melting in a vacuum 

and I ... could not see anymore 

I can not explain it again ...

nothing more than this ... 

"silence"

but, I really smile...
although it was messy
although i have tear on my cheek
all come and go ...
all that remains just the meaning
I dont want anything ...
I take a breath ...
release ...
just breath, just a sigh ...
I live because of breath
and I'm still breathing 
outside is crowded ...
Inside is quiet ...
quiet ... n silence ... (I like)
"I accept all to be my sincere devotion in this life""
now all gone in silence ...

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Curi Waktu

Curi waktu sebentar, 

selagi masih bisa nakal

 

 















@ pic: empty for life by dewitsai

setelah semalam mabuk mencari ide, 

sambil berkongko ria dgn sahabat lama 

dan setelah lelah otak ini berkontraksi berkali2 ..... 

di tambah pagi ini masih di hajar deadline

yang ngak kenal tenggang rasa... 

plus baku tegang antara otak kanan dan kiri 

yang sama kuatnya. 

hanya satu yang tersisa yaitu nafas.

mo marah juga ngak bisa... 

lagian jg percuma,

mo nangis apalagi, 

boro2 air mata keluar...
cuma satu rasanya

yaitu capek luar biasa
email2 dan empati temenpun 

dah kubakar dan melebur menjadi debu... 

trs kutiup....  terbang.....  

bukan tak menyimak

hanya ingin kosong

lelah ini telah membunuh rasa, 
baik cinta, benci, lapar, siang, malam dan semuanya....
kembali bercinta lewat karya yang dipaksakan, 
bentuk pelarian minimal untuk bertahan.

Aku tengah melepaskan semuanya ... 
untuk menjadi kosong.
 

nah sekarang kembali ke deadline ...

sebelum di pentung satpam

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Night Prayer

This lonely road ---> you are not alone

I am walking on ---> when you leave your home

Where did it begin?  ---> and you’re far away

Where will it end? ---> on a dusty way

And when the dark night comes ---> I will always care

Who will save my soul? ---> and I will be there

On my lonely road ---> every time You call

will I walk alone? ---> My name…

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Advices

That advices will always be in my heart no one can know wrapped and still respected Living Imagination! 

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